Snape's Secret
by Lainielove7
Summary: What if Snape had another secret that he hid from the world, a secret that caused him great pain? What if that secret showed up at Hogwarts? Based off of the 2nd book, written with the same events as the 2nd book, from a different POV. Well written!
1. Chapter 1: The Reunion

C H A P T E R O N E

T H E R E U N I O N

The first years looked up at the gleaming candles floating in midair above the castle. For most, this was the first time they were seeing the wonder that was Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But for one, a tall, beautiful girl with black hair that draped her shoulders and piercing blue eyes that seemed to cry without tears, standing outside the castle was a regular occurrence. At least, it had been for the first seven years of her life—for the past six years, she hadn't walked these grounds at all.

Hagrid, the groundskeeper, motioned for the children to follow him inside. Sarah looked around at the sequence of gulping and gasping as they took their first steps toward the castle, knowing that life was about to change forever.

"And ova' her' is the Grea' Hall," Hagrid told the students, motioning with his enormous hands toward the spectacular room where they would be eating. But Sarah had already eaten in this room many times before—there was nothing of interest for her on this tour. With one discrete movement, she fell behind the other students and turned down the hall. She greeted the paintings, and was not surprised when they did so in return. As she rounded the corner, she ran into someone, out of place in the barren hall.

His hair was dark black, matching his eyes. The sneer on his face did not enhance his crooked nose. She looked up at him, unsure of what to do.

"And just where do you think you're going." His words were slow and cruel, causing Sarah to shiver.

"I…I've already seen the castle. I thought I'd say hello to the paintings and then join the students again in a few minutes."

"Well, let me make this clear right away—just because you're the daughter of a professor, does not mean you can go gallivanting around the castle whenever you please. We already have enough problems with that Potter boy." He spat out Harry's name with pure hatred. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir," she said meekly as tears filled her eyes.

"Now rejoin your classmates before I deduct fifty points from your house the second we find out which it is."

"But what if I'm in _your_ house."

He let out a cruel laugh, before sharply turning to walk away.

"It's been six years, you know," Sarah called after him. He stopped abruptly, but kept his gaze ahead. "You could at least say hello."

There was a moment of silence and then a small, "hello," before he continued his course.

"Hello, Father," she replied quietly.

* * *

The Sorting Hat ceremony had officially begun. Sarah was waiting behind a sniffly boy who was constantly turning around asking people which house they thought they'd be in, or which house they thought he'd be in. Of course, if he knew who she was, one would assume that she would be in Slytherin. But she knew this would not be true—she was nothing like a Slytherin. She was nothing like her father. And nor did she want to be.

But then, there was this residing fear, that maybe she would be a Slytherin. Maybe she would become her father. Even at the age of thirteen, she knew of the horrible things that he had done for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. And like her mother, she wanted no part in it. At least, that's what she told herself. There was always this little part of her, a part of her thoughts that were stored under lock and key so she would never say them out loud, that hoped she _would_ be a Slytherin—maybe then, her father would accept her. Maybe then, he would be proud of her.

"Sarah Underwood," Professor McGonagal called. Sarah looked up at her father, who seemed completely uninterested in the scene. However, he did not look away, a sign that maybe he did hold some interest after all. Professor McGonagal gave her a small smile as she made her way toward the hat.

"Well, well, well, this is very interesting," the hat said the second it touched her head. "We seem to have some clashing worlds."

His words were only to her, but she felt as if everyone could hear them. Sarah shivered, praying that he would not reveal what he now knew. Only a few people at the school knew that she was Professor Snape's daughter. And that was the way both she and her father wanted it. Her father despised her—there was no other way to put it. She was sure that at one point in her life, he had loved her very much. All she knew was it had not been so since he and her mother split up when she was seven years old.

Sarah's mother had been a Gryffindor—top of her class, on the Quidditch team. When she was at Hogwarts during her seventh year, she fell in love with Severus Snape, a fellow seventh year who appeared to be a complete outcast at the school. That was all Sarah knew about how they met—her mother did not like to talk about it much. They were married seven years later had Sarah. For the first seven years of her life, Sarah remembered love and happiness. But then, one day, all of that changed.

Sarah always knew there was something special about her father. Of course, back then no one had told her anything about his extensive history with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, but there were signs—people staring and whispering as they walked down the street, cruel letters that came by owl that would have her mother bursting into tears as soon as she read the first word. And to make it all worse, her father was not home very often to defend himself or to take care of his family—he had his teaching job at Hogwarts. Sarah and her mother would take long vacations at the school, just so they could all be together. She remembered her father asking her mother if she thought that he should quit his job so he could be home more, but Sarah's mother would always refuse, telling him that they needed him at the school.

They seemed happy—at least, that's how Sarah remembered them. But then, one night, Sarah's father came home for a surprise visit. Sarah recalled running into his arms, excited to see him. When she turned to her mother with a big grin, expecting her to have one as well, she grew confused—her mother had a look of hatred on her face.

"Sarah, why don't you go upstairs and play with you dolls?" she remembered her mother telling her gently. But when Sarah got upstairs, she stayed at the top of the steps and listened to the conversation below.

"Get out of my house," her mother had ordered.

"Jasmine…"

"I don't know why I believed you. You said you were disassociated with the Malfoys. But you went there last night. My friend saw you go into the house—and Lucious seemed rather excited to see you."

"You don't understand…"

"You promised you had changed. I told you when he was killed that you had to choose. I told you that I could not be the wife of a monster."

"Jasmine, please. It's complicated…"

"Then I'm going to make it a whole lot easier, Severus. Sarah and I are now out of your life."

"But I love you."

"Well, I don't love you."

The slamming of the door was the last time Sarah had heard her father—that was, until today. But their meeting in the hallway was not how she had always wanted it to be. Not that she had expected him to scoop her into his arms and tell her that he wanted to be in her life, but there was a spell or a curse or anything that gave reasoning to the fact that he left that day and never came back.

"Daydreaming, are we?" the hat said, snapping her back into reality.

She now felt hundreds of eyes upon her, as if they knew the pain that plagued her life.

"Although I see strong potential in two houses, your father is going to have to be disappointed. I am going to have to say—GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindor table erupted in cheers, and several people motioned for her to join them. She grinned and quickly made her way toward them, attempting to keep her gaze ahead. However, the struggle overtook her and she looked toward the teacher's table—her father's seat was empty.

Sarah took an exasperated sigh and collapsed in a seat as she was overwhelmed with introductions from people, boys in particular. They seemed eager to know her name, although even at the young age of thirteen, she was very used to this.

After two boys, one in Ravenclaw and one in Hufflepuff, were announced, a girl with red hair that stood out among the rest, was called to the front. She looked more nervous than anyone as the hat was placed on her head.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the sorting hat screamed, and the house let out another thirty seconds of cheers. Two boys in particular, twins that also bore red hair, were banging on the table, cheering louder than anyone else. The girl made her way down to the table, where her brothers high fived her. She took the empty seat next to Sarah.

"Hi, I'm Ginny," the girl told her. "You're in my year, aren't you?"

Sarah smiled. "Yeah, I'm Sarah. Are those your brothers?" she asked, pointing to the twins who were now switching silverware around while people weren't looking, so they would have three forks or three spoons.

"Unfortunately. I have six older brothers and four go here. All seven of us are Gryffindors. Do you have any siblings here?"

"Nope, I'm an only child."

"You're lucky," Ginny giggled before she began looking around the room. The smile on her face faded as distress washed over her.

"What's wrong?" Sarah asked.

She frowned. "I don't see my brother Ron anywhere. I haven't seen him since the Muggle station."

"Maybe he's sitting further down the table."

Ginny shook her head. "That's one of his best friends over there, Hermione Granger. She, and his friend Harry, and Ron are inseparable—they would be sitting with her." She pointed to a girl with bushy brown hair who was looking around in the same manner as Ginny, apparently trying to locate her missing friends.

"I suppose he's here somewhere," Ginny concluded, but she still seemed worried. Sarah supposed she would be too if she could not find her brother, although she had absolutely no experience in that area. She had always longed a brother or sister; she supposed that it was because since the only person that she had in the world was her mother, a sibling might make life a little more bearable.

The girls looked over at the Slytherin table at the sound of cheering as a tall first year walked arrogantly toward it after his fate had been announced. With that, the Sorting Ceremony was over, and the students instantly grew quiet as a silver haired man with a long beard and spectacles walked to the front of the Great Hall.

"Be bum biddle, too tall little," the man said with a kind smile, as if those words made sense to the room full of people in front of him. Sarah remembered Dumbledore's way of speaking from when she was little—it had always made her laugh. From his fun-loving nature, one would not expect that he was one of the most brilliant and powerful wizards in the world.

"Sorry I am late," he continued. "We had a little incident with the Whomping Willow—however, I assure you that everything is quite alright."

Sharp whispers filled the auditorium as the students discussed what he had just said. However, everyone went silent once more when Dumbledore raised a steady hand.

"Welcome to a brand new year, young ones. For you first years, this will be a year of discovery—discovering why you were chosen to be in the house to which you were assigned, discovery of which subjects you enjoy the most, and discovery of how you can be an asset to this school.

A few notes before we begin eating the lovely feast prepared for us—Mr. Filtch has asked me to remind everyone that wandering around the halls after hours is strictly forbidden. As is attempting to go to the Restricted Section of the library unauthorized—it seems that we had a few problems with these rules this past year. Now, I can hear many stomachs rumbling, so without further ado…" He gave a permissive wave of his hand partnered with a slight bow, which caused dozens of delicious foods to appear in front of the students.

"Ginny, did you hear what the seventh years at the end of the table are talking about?" a second year asked her with his mouth full of bread. "That your brother and Harry Potter flew here in a flying car. And they crashed into the Whomping Willow and Snape expelled them from school."

Ginny's eyes grew wide as she took in his words. "F…f…flying car?" She then shook her head, rejecting what he had said. "That can't be true, Jack. They're lying to you 'cause they know you'll believe anything."

Jack shrugged in apathy before turning back to his discussion with a few first years.

Although she had not believed Jack, Ginny's eyes were still enlarged with shock. "My dad has a flying car. We drove it to the Muggle station. But…Ron wouldn't be that stupid. Oh man, if he got expelled, my parents are going to kill him…"

"I'm sure it's just a rumor, Ginny," Sarah assured her.

Ginny nodded as she scooped some mashed potatoes onto her fork. "I hope so."

The feast was over before the students knew it. With a combination of full bellies and new friends, the first years followed Ginny's brother Percy to the Gryffindor common room.

" 'wattlebird," Percy told the painting of a enormous lady that hung on the wall. He turned to the students, who were all jittery with the excitement of finally seeing where they would be living for the term. "Remember the password. If you don't know it, she won't let you in."

"That's right, children," the fat lady told them in a patronizing voice as she swung the door open.

The students went in one by one, the boys to the boy's dormitory and the girls to the girl's dormitory. Sarah and Ginny were ecstatic when they learned that they were in the same room, along with Sally Hayfield, a girl that Ginny knew from primary school and Molly Wenson, who constantly had her nose in a spell book of some sort.

"She should be friends with Hermione," Ginny said with a laugh when Molly shrieked that she couldn't find "Hogwarts: A History" anywhere amidst her belongings.

As Sarah lay in bed, listening to the sound of the other girls' even breathing of sleep, she smiled—maybe things were going to be alright after all. Even if she and her father never bonded, she was still going to have a wonderful time here at Hogwarts. After all, it had been her dream to attend here ever since she first witnessed the magic that the castle withheld inside its walls.

She drifted off to sleep, dreaming of spells that would make her father love her once more.


	2. Chapter 2: Potions Class

C H A P T E R T W O

P O T I O N S C L A S S

It was the first day of class, and unlike most first years, Sarah hadn't even glanced at her schedule. Her stomach sank when she read the first taunting words.

9:00 Potions, Professor Severus Snape, Room 544

She closed her eyes, wishing that it wasn't true. But she supposed it made sense—her father was the only potions teacher in the school, and she could not go without the class. Luckily, she would be with Ginny, who was also not looking forward to spending an hour with Severus Snape, although not for the same reason.

"I've met him before—he's absolutely awful," she quietly told Sarah as they walked down the stairs to the dungeon. "My brothers say the worst things about him, even Percy. And his _always_ the teacher's pet. Do you think we'll survive?"

Sarah shivered. "Well, if he doesn't kill us, the cold certainly will. It's unbearable down here."

"See what I mean? Awful—who in their right mind would want their classroom in a dungeon?" Ginny said in one final whisper before they opened the door to their first class. They sat together in the back of the room, waiting in silence with the rest of the first years who had apparently heard rumors about this teacher as well.

Professor Snape came through the door with slam, the tail of his black robe flapping as he walked briskly to the front of the room. He set his book down with a thud, causing some of the students to jump in their seats. The smirk on his face told them that he enjoyed making students miserable.

"Ms. Weasly," he said with a snap, causing Ginny to look panicked as the attention was turned to her. "Ms. Weasly, can you name this for the class?"

He held up a white, edible looking lump with a green stem. Ginny shook her head. "Sorry, Professor, I'm not sure."

Snape frowned. "What if I told you that the life of your friend Ms. Underwood was at stake? What if I told you that she was bitten by a creature, and this may or may not save her life?"

Sarah's heart raced at the mention of her name. She watched Ginny's lips part as she continued to stare at the object, still in Snape's tight grasp. She shook her head once more. "I'm sorry Professor," she told him meekly.

"Too much pressure?" Snape asked with a snap. "What if I lower the stakes a little? What if I told you that you had to name this or Ms. Underwood would be asked to leave class? How about then, Ms. Weasly? Could you state what this is?"

Ginny looked at Sarah and then back to Snape. After a few seconds of silent shock, she told him once more that she did not know.

Snape glared at her and then walked to the blackboard at the front of the room, on which he scribbled the word potions and began writing the four most common types. "Without potions," he lectured as he wrote. "Half of you wouldn't be here. One of your relatives would have died somewhere along the line from a disease or bite that only one of these could cure. For example, if you take…" He turned around and paused mid-sentence, staring at the two girls who were just now recovering.

"Ms. Underwood, what are you still doing here? I thought the idea was if Ms. Weasley couldn't name the item, you were going to have to leave class." His eyes were intense and cruel, mocking her without words.

"But that's not fair…" Sarah began to argue.

"Life's not fair," Snape practically growled. "Now, I suggest you take your things and leave my classroom before I give you detention as well."

"Why don't you add the detention on, just for fun?" Sarah tested.

Snape's eyes narrowed, but he did not grow angrier. "Leave, Ms. Underwood," he stated simply. "Unless you would like to be expelled on your first day."

With a trembling lip, Sarah grabbed her books and hurried out of the room, not making eye contact with anyone in the room. After a few seconds of running up the stairs and down the hall toward the Gryffindor common room, she collapsed on the ground as the tears flowed freely. It was only when she realized that she was not alone that she attempted to compose herself.

"P…P…Professor Dumbledore," Sarah hiccupped through her sobs.

There was genuine warmth in the smile he gave her before sitting down on the cold floor, something that she would never have expected him to do. "What is the matter, Ms. Underwood?" he asked kindly.

She took a few moments to control her crying, which seemed to be as large as a waterfall now. Sarah watched as her tears hit the ground like a cleansing rain before she began. "I can't be here anymore, Professor; he's just awful. He just kicked me out of class because Ginny couldn't answer a ridiculous question."

Dumbledore's expression was not one of shock or disgust. Instead, he placed his chilled hand on top of her shaking one. "My dear child, I will speak with him. You go back to your dormitory and rest. I seem to recall that you have Professor Lockhart at ten o'clock—trust me, my dear, you will need all the strength you can muster for him." When he laughed, his blue eyes, usually hindered by the glasses that he was still wearing, twinkled in a grandfatherly manner.

Sarah wiped her eyes once more and picked up her books. She was shocked that he hadn't said more on the subject, either by being appalled about what he had done to her or offering some explanation of why he was being so cruel. "Yes, Professor," she squeaked before walking back toward the portrait of the fat lady. Once in her dormitory, she collapsed on her bed and let weakness fill her—this time not in the way of tears, but in the way of despair.

She knew coming to Hogwarts had been a bad idea. After all, her mother had told her so from the start. She had wanted her to attend another magic school, but Sarah had convinced her that Hogwarts was the best school in the world. That she would need the best training in order to be the best witch she could be. So that she could be successful one day, maybe a job in the Ministry of Magic. Of course, what mother could argue against this logic? Her mother granted her permission to comply with the letter of acceptance she had received by owl.

But the real reason was as much of a secret as it wasn't a secret—she had wanted to see her father. She had longed to be under his teaching. But most of all, she wanted to gain his acceptance. She had never expected it to be like this. Sure, her father may have had a reason to hold a grudge against her mother, but to be angry with Sarah was ridiculous. Sarah couldn't help that her mother had told her father that she did not love him anymore. It wasn't Sarah's doing that split their family apart. She had waited by the window every single night after he had left, hoping he would come home. And sometimes, her mother would sit with her, watching, waiting. But he never came home.

After a few years, Sarah realized how unrealistic her expectations had been; he wasn't coming back, and no amount of waiting was going to change that. She had been abandoned—and now, if anyone had the right to be mad, it was Sarah. It wasn't as if she could have gone to find him all those years. Besides, a daughter should not have to find her father—he should have always been there. He should have never left.

And now, there was no hope of ever rebuilding her family. Maybe there never was—maybe she knew all along that it was never going to happen.

Maybe this was a good thing.


End file.
